Are You Living in the Present or Just Avoiding the Past?

Practicing intentionally living in the present is a necessary step towards contentment. However, doing so without first looking back and working through past experiences will inevitably lead to surface-level coping strategies. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, our past greatly affects our present. The way we formed attachment to our early caregivers, our coping strategies to create safety in our environments in childhood, events which affected us on a subconscious level - these all create behaviour patterns in adulthood which, if not explored and healed, can lead us to repeating the same unhealthy patterns in relationships and living in a state of dissociation from our core selves. We may experience anxiety, depression or maladaptive behaviour and not understand why we act the way we do. Because the truth is, most problems that we experience in our adult relationships began as coping strategies in childhood.

While it’s certainly important to not get stuck in circular rumination of the past, if we avoid it entirely, we will keep finding ourselves in the same unfulfilling relationships, having the same unexpected anxious/avoidant responses, and repeating the same cycle indefinitely.

The way to break through? Notice the patterns that we tend to repeat, get curious about them, and then gently and compassionately begin to explore where our “stuff” comes from with a qualified somatic counsellor. And while this process can feel scary, I can promise that it will ultimately lead to healing, breaking free of old wounds, and living a much more fulfilling life in the present.

If you are looking to begin your self-growth journey, I would love to work with you to help you live your most authentic life. As a registered clinical counsellor (RCC) trained in somatic therapy, I offer counselling services both virtually and in Squamish, BC. For more information, visit www.wildpathwellness.com